We get lost

helping and finding people.

Maybe, because it’s easier

than finding yourself.

On the other hand

you may have found yourself

and realize

all you have is

to give.

And all the others

to take.

That is all they know.

You find yourself

not knowing.

Closing your eyes at night

so you can sleep

you give.

And give.

Unable to take.

No where to go.

Unjustifiable.

And so

you swear off your lessons

and do as you always

do.

what makes you feel right.

you give

you sleep

to all a good night.

And, they go

Only then – you will know.

That giving because you can

Without stings attached

Leads you down a dark path.

For when you ask for help

Reciprocity, you think

It’s only then your heart – it will melt

Time and time again

Really?  You call them a friend?

That is the reality that hurts so much

everyone you thought you could trust

Only using you because you are kind

Wishing your life you could rewind.

Be strong

Live life for you

Watch what others do

Don’t give or take

Observe life,

Make a life you create!

that define greatness.

Monumental

Memorable

Time to find happiness

in what I have

not sorrow

in what I don’t.

For me, the lessons I’ve learned

the hurt so deep

simply, cannot compare

to the love I feel.

The future I now hold

and life I have to live -

Serendipity.

in my life.

I’ve been double-crossed.

Today, as I write this

And as I have always believed, inside

The directions to where

I go from here

Will lead me to a happy place.

A life I want-

A man I need.

A future filled with light

Where darkness once lived.

All that I see -

Is clear

Is brighter.

And, I am glowing again.

I have found love

In the truest form.

I am whole again.

Not settled, not still

Just round and round, churning          

Emotions unfulfilled

My head and my heart

Together and yet, apart

What I feel and how I think -

Turning to wine, the conciliation I drink

I have learned that numbing is temporary

Ordinary solution to a problem contemporary

I pass on the wine

I sit and ponder time

Getting here is reflective

Going somewhere else, subjective

A solitary confinement, trapped

With so much wrath

The result is numbness

The pain, relentless

The blame has no resolve

Emotions do not dissolve

The road behind lives forever

Day to day life without pleasure

One day at a time, rising above

Standing on the edge, wishing for a shove

Way too big

I want a plate

Tea cup size

I have too much

It’s spilling over

Is it because I can

Manage the entire overflow?

Just when I have it in control

WHAM

Another helping

I did not ask for

I don’t want it.

Do you know what I mean?

Some have an empty plate

Even if their plate were full

They could empty it faster

More resources

More help.

I wonder if

My plate is so full

To challenge me

Like a pawn

Hahaha from up above

Or down below

It’s not funny

It’s pushing me over the edge

I guess, you must know

I’ll never go over

I’ll never give in

My talent

My fault.

Change is made from money

Can you make change

without money?

Money changes people

changes their lives.

You don’t know what you have

how much you spend

until it’s gone.

The more you have

the more you have to lose.

And when it’s gone

you are back to spending

time on change.

Irreversible damage –

Having spent more time on what can be bought

Then on what could have been saved.

Pride my hostage.

Using others to fulfill

an emptiness.

A salvation for most

with a big heart.

I recognize the void,

now I yield.

I look both ways

before crossing.

With a purpose,

not a project

I persevere

this is my conquest.

Only this time

I know the definition.

a moment in time.

Happy or sad, their expressions

a story untold.

Staring into a past,

seeing what we want to see.

This picture you look at

will never tell the truth.