Comments on: The Sub http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/ Perspective, Life, Lessons, Hindsight, and what I can make of it all. Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:38:34 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: stepmama drama http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-45 stepmama drama Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:56:58 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-45 Hi there my friend! Glad all is well! Waiting for a new post! In the meantime, check out my blog for your award. Hi there my friend! Glad all is well! Waiting for a new post! In the meantime, check out my blog for your award.

]]> By: clevergrl http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-37 clevergrl Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:06:29 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-37 Well said. Well said.

]]> By: Pam http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-36 Pam Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:29:15 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-36 Wow! This is so amazing! I find it difficult to raise someone else's child - with their own set of rules and expectations. It is hard because you don't get the same 'say' or voice as the real parents. I get along well with the mom, but it is still hard being the extra person at events. I'm so glad I was able to read this....I wish I could express myself so well! Wow! This is so amazing! I find it difficult to raise someone else’s child – with their own set of rules and expectations. It is hard because you don’t get the same ’say’ or voice as the real parents. I get along well with the mom, but it is still hard being the extra person at events. I’m so glad I was able to read this….I wish I could express myself so well!

]]> By: stepmama-drama http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-35 stepmama-drama Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:49:04 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-35 Saw your comment on the DHX. Well said. Seriously. I really look forward to more thoughts on your blog. Saw your comment on the DHX. Well said. Seriously. I really look forward to more thoughts on your blog.

]]> By: simplicity http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-33 simplicity Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:29:26 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-33 Thanks for sharing your poem. I get it and have seen/felt that even though I'm in one of the best blended family circumstances I could have ever picked. There are still hard times and hard feelings. Thanks for sharing your poem. I get it and have seen/felt that even though I’m in one of the best blended family circumstances I could have ever picked. There are still hard times and hard feelings.

]]> By: The DHX: The Doughtie Houses Exchange » Blog Archive » Links for Wednesday, January 16 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-32 The DHX: The Doughtie Houses Exchange » Blog Archive » Links for Wednesday, January 16 Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:56:48 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-32 [...] Relationships & Looking Inside Me: The Sub - a poem about what it can feel like sometimes to be the stepmom (by way of The Wicked [...] [...] Relationships & Looking Inside Me: The Sub – a poem about what it can feel like sometimes to be the stepmom (by way of The Wicked [...]

]]> By: Jill http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-31 Jill Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:43:39 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-31 This poem speaks to me, too. I feel like this sometimes, too. And the kids' mom and I are close friends! This poem speaks to me, too. I feel like this sometimes, too. And the kids’ mom and I are close friends!

]]> By: Lacey http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-28 Lacey Sat, 12 Jan 2008 06:42:54 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-28 What a wonderful poem. I know exactly how you feel and understand your frustrations. What a wonderful poem. I know exactly how you feel and understand your frustrations.

]]> By: stepmamadrama http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-27 stepmamadrama Thu, 10 Jan 2008 07:55:22 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-27 You are not alone. Email me anytime. I appreciate your thoughts. katieritchie05@gmail.com. I am a new stepmom (2years) and I'm here to say that you will not lose yourself. But it is up to you to make sure that never, EVER happens. You do have a voice. You have worth, as a woman, as a stepmother, as a wife, and a person. Do not every forget that...I still have to remind myself of that every time another moment of hell arises in my life because of the X. You are not alone. Email me anytime. I appreciate your thoughts. katieritchie05@gmail.com. I am a new stepmom (2years) and I’m here to say that you will not lose yourself. But it is up to you to make sure that never, EVER happens. You do have a voice. You have worth, as a woman, as a stepmother, as a wife, and a person. Do not every forget that…I still have to remind myself of that every time another moment of hell arises in my life because of the X.

]]> By: Heather http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-26 Heather Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:23:28 +0000 http://galleryofthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/01/07/the-sub/#comment-26 In our case, most of the time the three of us grownups get along but on those occasions when she decides to, biomom can make things awful. My husband and I have primary custody and she hates it - but not enough to change her behavior. She often bails on her responsibilities as their mother. She places her parties and friends above her kids. But every once in a while she decides to exert herself and throws things that we're working hard to develop all out of sorts. When she sees a glimpse of something that shows they might end up like their dad (or god forbid, me) she jumps in, trying to force us to raise them consistent with her values. Mind you, she's not the one who's going to do the hard work - she expects us to do that, even when it's in her best interest. There are days when the thought of 20 more years of this is enough to send me into hiding. My husband is an incredible source of strength and so are my friends. That's not enough though. One of the things that has been a life saver in for me is counseling. I have one person I can say all the really treacherous things to who won't repeat them, won't judge me, and won't point out that I owe it to the kids to be kind and understanding all the time. I hope you're able to find a good network of folks who validate all the good things in yourself that you feel you've lost in this crazy mess. I hope the same for all of us, really. In our case, most of the time the three of us grownups get along but on those occasions when she decides to, biomom can make things awful. My husband and I have primary custody and she hates it – but not enough to change her behavior. She often bails on her responsibilities as their mother. She places her parties and friends above her kids. But every once in a while she decides to exert herself and throws things that we’re working hard to develop all out of sorts. When she sees a glimpse of something that shows they might end up like their dad (or god forbid, me) she jumps in, trying to force us to raise them consistent with her values. Mind you, she’s not the one who’s going to do the hard work – she expects us to do that, even when it’s in her best interest.

There are days when the thought of 20 more years of this is enough to send me into hiding. My husband is an incredible source of strength and so are my friends. That’s not enough though. One of the things that has been a life saver in for me is counseling. I have one person I can say all the really treacherous things to who won’t repeat them, won’t judge me, and won’t point out that I owe it to the kids to be kind and understanding all the time.

I hope you’re able to find a good network of folks who validate all the good things in yourself that you feel you’ve lost in this crazy mess. I hope the same for all of us, really.

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