Do Gooder

Have you ever pondered why your friends aren’t like you?  How you give and give and the reciprical part doesn’t exist and why that bothers you so much?  I used to feel hurt most of the time and then one day I realized I was to blame.  The reason for my hurt was brought on by my own need to be a do gooder.  That is just what I thought I needed to be. 

It hit me like a hangover.  People needed me, my attention or help because I always gave it.  Duh. I was the one everyone called in crisis, I was and am good at helping people.  I like it, I do it with ease, its nice having people feel better because of something you give or say or do.  I don’t do it to win a prize or to buy people or be liked, it is just a part of me.

I realized something about life and that is people are not all good, mostly bad – or shall I say, people take more than they give, that seems nicer.

Seems I missed that simple and obvious rule somewhere in my 37 years of life.  Setteling with the thought that people would rather let me down than meet my expectation never occured to me. 

I get it now.   I set boundaries around who I help, I don’t give as many chances and I make people earn my trust rather than trusting everyone until I learn to distrust.  Seems logical, right? 

Now I sleep better, I feel stronger and I am able to blame myself when things don’t go as I expect.  Poor me is so ugly.  Do something to change the things that make you feel that way.  It’s hard work and too hard for lots of people who find it easier to blame the rest of the world on their pain.  If you can find faults in others, best you be honest with yourself and find them in you as well.